Not Nice Spice
Today my daughter called my name. I was dumbfounded. I have not taught her mom, mommy, mama—nada! I seriously need to know how she figured this out because I know, based on how obnoxiously attached I am to my mother, she’ll let that vocabulary roll right off her tongue. She is very much my best bud, so I got all warm and fuzzy in about point zero, zero two seconds. When moments like this happen I’m sucked into future visions of my life racing by. It’s beautiful, but so painful I just need to give her extra squeezes to slow things down a little. My husband’s friend was expecting last year and asked him how it was to have a baby. Stud told him it’s crazy—you’re exhausted and you completely understand why they make you watch the shaken baby video plus pamphlet plus booklet plus give you a binder full of resources. His friend was agreeable in the conversation. Inside Stud was laughing because he realized what others had seen in us. We were so naïve. We could never imagine how pull your hair out stressful having a baby could be, while in the very same instance be so unbelievably beautiful that you have to take a photo (I have roughly 200 some photos of the first month—this is not normal unless it’s your first baby). Chickadee and I have been keeping an eye on our houseplants, herbs, lilies, ferns and other bits that I completely forgot whatever it was. All day we would watch these two finches racing in and around our deck. It was so much fun, especially while nursing outside. FINALLY, after a little over two weeks the tiny eggs hatched! It was all too much! The little chirps, the mama and papa diving in and out of the ferns, and their cute beaks popping up to reach for food bits. We loved it! When I mentioned to my husband that I wasn’t watering that fern because I didn’t want to disturb them, he brought my reality to a screeching halt. They had flown away. They didn’t live there anymore. They had grown up. This time the mic dropped because I was shocked. I wasn’t expecting that to happen for a long while. How were they REALLY ready to leave the nest?!?! Not possible. I know that as much as I’m going to love chitchats with my Chickadee, I’m also going to have to let her fly away. Okay, pause the writing for silent mom tears. Even as I’m writing this she woke in the middle of the night with a faint cry, and I gladly popped up to hold her and snuggle her back to sleep. I won’t always have these moments so I’m holding on for dear life!
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Kate FrancesWhen you don't know what else to do, then it's time to write. Then write a little while longer for good measure. Archives
February 2020
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