Not Nice Spice
It’s funny how the older you are the more life blends circumstance and people. It would be naïve to continue believing in happenstance. Ages ago my younger brother was in class with Jane, and years later her and I connected via social media. Jane and her family have a type of beautiful ferocity that every mama hopes for—rising to meet the needs of her babes. I love the birth story of her third baby and first boy! And this handsome soldier was prompt to say the least, having arrived right on his due date and wasted no time with laboring. Less than 5% of women actually deliver on the date set at the beginning of pregnancy. Owen came earth side exactly when he was intended.
Owen is our third child and my third all-natural delivery. His birth was the first that we had a Doula present (spoiler alert - get a doula; they're amazing! Thanks Sherri and Chris!). During my pregnancy, my doulas told me about prodromal labor, which is pre-labor that produces labor-like contractions (unlike Braxton Hicks) because the baby isn't positioned correctly and the body (and baby) move to get into a more appropriate position for delivery. After learning that, I realized I had that for each of my kids, without realizing what was happening; I thought they were just Braxton Hicks. Looking back on the birth of all of my kids, prodromal labor started about four to five days before birth. Five days before Owen was born, I would get consistent contractions every night, from 8 pm to 11 pm. Timing them, they would start at 15 minutes apart and get all the way down to 7 minutes apart - but at 11 pm, they would always stop completely. I have the app "Full Term" to track contractions, and I can look back on all the contraction timings. This labor and delivery were going to be different in general for two reasons: 1. I was using doulas for the first time, and 2. My sister was going to be in the room with us. Unfortunately, getting my sister here wasn't that simple—she was from out of town and trying to figure out when to come, since I was not going to be induced. She felt very strongly that she should come on Sunday, March 19th to just be here and help. My sister arrived Sunday night and said, "call me if anything happens." On the morning of Monday, March 20th (Owen's predicted due date), I woke up and started timing my contractions at 6:22 am (again, I highly recommend the app!). Because I was having back labor, I began doing some of the exercises the doulas showed me, to help me get through it and also to move Owen. My oldest daughter, Addy (4 at the time), woke up, came downstairs, and started doing the exercises with me. Around 8 am, I texted my sister and told her that I thought that I was in labor. She came over to take Addy to our other sister's house for the day while we got everything ready for the hospital. I then let my doula know that my contractions were starting to come about every 7 minutes. She told me to just keep her updated and that she would leave to meet us at the hospital, while I continued to do the exercises. At this point, I was able to talk through the contractions. While I was doing my exercises and breathing, my sister was making me laugh, making comments like "Jane! I can't believe how calm you are! I don't know what to do with you -this was not at all my life." The doula met us at the hospital at 10 am as I was laboring outside in the waiting area while they were getting our room ready. Because Owen is our third, my husband requested a specific delivery room (the room we were told was "the best room", and the room I delivered my other two children). While we were in the waiting area, my doula got a warm rice bag and put it on my back (because she's amazing and back labor is the worst). She was also massaging my lower back, while my husband and sister took turns massaging my back and putting essential oils on me. We got into the room at 10:15 am, and I was attempting to get into the hospital gown when I announced: "Either my water just broke, or I just peed a whole lot." My water broke. I may have also peed; who knows. While my husband set up the diffuser, someone (either my sister or the doula - I couldn't see and frankly didn't care) was always massaging my back. They hooked me up to the monitor to check Owen's heart rate and my contractions, while I got into my labor stance (rocking back and forth while leaning on the bed). At about 11 am, they wanted to get me into the bed to check how dilated I was and put an IV in "just in case I needed it later on". I originally told them that I didn't want it at all since I was planning to deliver naturally, but the compromise was to have it in place yet not hooked up to anything just in case I ended up needed fluids or pain meds. I was laying on my side while they were looking for a vein when I could feel that a contraction was coming and asked my husband to confirm it on the monitor. When he said "yes", I told the nurse to wait until the contraction was done before sticking me with a needle. I got through the contraction, she tried to prep again, but another contraction came. I told her the same thing, "do not do this until the contraction is done." Except after this contraction ended, Owen came out. Because the doctor wasn't in the room yet, the nurse was yelling for me to try to hold Owen in and to stop pushing, but I yelled (like I have with all of my kids) "IT'S INVOLUNTARY!" I literally didn't even feel like I had any control of Owen's debut, it felt like he just jumped out. A different nurse delivered him, and all I remember saying was "does somebody have him??!" I mentally was envisioning him flopping around on the floor because I had no perception of where I was in relation to the bed. Do not be alarmed. He was safely in the middle of the bed. Owen was born at 11:15 am and weighed 9 lbs 2 oz. Because I was laying on my side, I didn't tear at all, and I barely had to push. The doctor came in a moment later, yelling "Speedy Gonzalez!" We had decided ahead of time that we wanted to delay the cord clamping. When the doctor arrived, he wanted to cut the cord immediately, but my husband had to fight back*, as he could still feel the cord pulsing. The two bickered for less than a minute, and within that time, the cord stopped pulsing. My husband also had to remind a nurse that we requested the vernix be rubbed into Owen's skin and not simply be wiped off*, as she was frantically trying to do so. *Annoying that we had to fight for these simple requests but so proud of my husband for defending his family. Yet another reason I was thankful to have both the doula and my sister there was that they stayed with me as I delivered the placenta. Knowing that I wasn't alone allowed my husband to not feel torn between staying with Owen or me. I felt more comfortable knowing that he was right with him, especially given the two situations where our wishes were not followed up on. After the whole delivery process was done, I recovered in the delivery room for a while since they didn't need the room for anyone else. I walked to the recovery room, where I spent the next two days until I could go home. If you're wondering about the amazing doula team is that I worked with, they are Sherri and Chris from Syracuse Doula Chicks- http://www.syracusedoulachicks.com/
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Kate FrancesWhen you don't know what else to do, then it's time to write. Then write a little while longer for good measure. Archives
February 2020
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