Not Nice Spice
I took a terribly nice little break since having the Little Old Man. I cannot wait to write about his pregnancy and delivery. Right now he is a cling monster (but not nearly like Chickadee, who hit the ultimate stage five clinger status in those early weeks and late-late-late nights). Everyone is settling in to new roles and somehow the ladies of the house are in the lead. While I sort through a bag of emotions with the Little Old Man’s birth story, I’m thrilled to share Melissa’s story of Isaac. Melissa and I went to high school together—she was a grade level above me with my older brother and I was a year behind with her younger brother. I was lucky to have her give me insight into her home birth experiences. Motherhood tends to bring so many women together that otherwise may have just passed by one another. She has reached parenting goddess status being a mama to four beauties. Early on in motherhood it’s so easy feel bombarded with a million new things to think about. Isaac (I believe!) was Melissa’s first, and as any mom can tell you there are always a few things you wish you could go back and tell yourself. Never regret or wish differently than what’s happened in the past. There’s no sense in dwelling on things you cannot change as if you could. Instead, always continue to grow, learn and evolve into the guiding force your children need you to be. Isaac’s Birth (September 17, 2011) Isaac was 2 weeks and a day late. I had a miscarriage right before conceiving him; we had no idea you were supposed to wait until you had a period, but whatever! So in December, we found out I was pregnant. Everything was good. Carried him high, had bruised ribs, the whole shebang. But baby was good and happy and comfortable right inside mommy’s stomach. My doctors were great. I toured the birthing center with my husband, and was excited to give birth. Due date came and went. I did not have my membranes stripped, did not have any type of induction done. No one was worried because he was happy and good. Nothing was wrong with me, so there was nothing to worry about. I knew he would come into this world when he was good and ready. On the 16th at 2am, August and I had climbed into bed. He worked full time and I was attending college full time and we had just gone to bed and all of a sudden I told August, “I think my water just broke.” It was a weird sensation, kind of like a small pop but not even sure of that. Just weird, and a pop is the only way I can describe it. His response was “what do you mean you think?” So off I went to the bathroom. Sure enough a gush just kept coming and coming and I told him, “yup it broke!” So we waited an hour or two before calling the doctor. She said get some rest and at 6 call again and then they had us head to the hospital. I was strep B positive so they wanted me to get penicillin. So once at the hospital, I was seen in triage and sat there for 3 hours. They couldn't find my records, which I found completely stupid because the doctor’s office I attended was a part of that hospital. Turned out they had my records the whole time!!! During that triage time, I had an IV port put in (which I HATE with so much passion), I had a nurse not believe me about my water breaking, and just sat twirling my thumbs in triage. After triage, I was finally in a room. I was able to walk around, rest, eat small items and sit in the shower. They did have a hot tub, but I was not allowed to get into that until I was 5cm dilated. Once I was dilated to 5cm, I got in the tub. Got out to walk a few times, and then back in the tub. After about 14 or 15 hours of labor, I asked for an epidural. I have bulging discs in my back, so my back muscles would tighten and not release when the contraction did. I was at 7cm at this point. My husband and I were both falling asleep during contractions, and I got to a point where I did not wake him between them. So I got the epidural, which I did not have a problem with, and then I was able to get some rest. I was in labor for another 14 hours or so. I was given 3 separate doses of pitocin which did not work. I have a very stubborn body and my body was going to do what it was going to do without being forced. Before I was ready to push, the nurse was helping to stretch out my “hole” and once she moved, the OBGYN did it and I told him he had big fingers. He looked at me and told me a baby’s head will be coming out of here, so my finger size does not matter (I thought it was funny). Once I felt the need to push, I pushed for 3 hours. It was almost as if Isaac was holding onto the walls inside going I am sorry I didn't mean to break your water. One thing that a nurse did that I did not know could harm the baby was when Isaac would travel back into the canal, and we weren’t getting anywhere, she laid across my abdomen to keep him from going back up into the canal as I pushed and released. I had a mirror so I could see what was happening and finally after 3 hours, he came out. He was gray and I called him a hippo. He pooped as he came out, so I did not see him. They rushed him to the warming table and there he stayed for what seemed like an eternity. I finally heard him cry and August told me he was good. He came over to me, kissed me, and I asked him to go be with Isaac. I was sewn up and finally after about half an hour to 45 minutes, I was able to see and hold my baby. I was able to get him to latch and latch well. He stayed with me in my suite (room) and there we stayed for 36 hours. August went with him if he was taken anywhere, but mostly everything was done in the room next to me. There are things I wish I knew. I wish I knew about the eye goop and about hep B. I wish I had more information in my face about vaccines. I wish I did more research about home birth. There are many things I wish, but his birth was good and yes it was long, but he is healthy. He is here and growing. He is now seven with a heart of gold (most days). At the end of Isaac’s birth story, Melissa comments on a few things she wishes she knew more about as a first time mom. Normally, when I inquire if a mama wants to share a birth story, I post them as received. I don't like to interject on an experience I was not a part of. However, Melissa and I both agree there is lack of transparency with many routine health care practices.
These are merely brief notes to spur parents to become knowledgeable in the health care practices which involve their children. It is important for the reader to research these areas further as I am not, nor claim to be a physician to any extent. The Birth Stories Series only provides a mother's personal experience delivering her baby and is not intended to give medical advice. There are a few procedures that most health professional deem mandatory, but they actually are not. While living in New York City, I was fortunate enough to teach alongside a teacher that was also a trained doula. When she told me I had choices as a new parent I had no idea what she meant. What I found out was that there are three (four if having a boy) routine healthcare practices for newborns that are often perceived as mandatory:
Wonderful resources to acquire more information on these topics include: -Mama Natural -Your Whole Baby -Saving Our Sons
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Kate FrancesWhen you don't know what else to do, then it's time to write. Then write a little while longer for good measure. Archives
February 2020
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