Not Nice Spice
![]() This piece by my cousin, Elizabeth, is exactly why I decided to gather birth stories from friends and family. Everyone has a different take on birth and motherhood. Personally, I love hearing about engagements, weddings, birth announcements, first birthdays—the works! Buuuuuut I very much don’t sit around thinking about the beauty of pregnancy and birth. It’s very much fascinating. It’s very much surreal. I’m very much a realist and what would have helped me to cross over the threshold into motherhood would have been some level headed people with practical advice. No, not sleep when the baby sleeps, because, well, you won’t. You’ll probably end up stressing to see if they’re breathing or sneak a hot shower or try to eat something in silence. I’ll never forget visiting Elizabeth after one of her births. I followed a trail of Cheerios to the living room. I remember wondering, why would someone have Cheerios on the floor? Honestly, of all the things a mama could impart to a first time mom is just that— motherhood is everything and nothing that mothers tell you. You can either let those scattered Cheerios dig into you, or you can embrace the chaos because they’re there for only a moment. It’s a little crazy how similar our first two deliveries were, and to top it off that I’m due with my third in January, too! Not to mention our husbands’ were/are champion birthing partners, to boot. Never underestimate your birthing support. Her husband, Chris, is the ultimate baby whisperer and gave Stud and I our first real parenting break. We were at a family event and someone asked where Chickadee was (she was a few months old). I looked at them and said, matter of factly, “I have no idea.” I knew that she was strolling around with Chris. She was safe and snuggled. And I was eating a meal with two hands and in one, uninterrupted sitting. I was asked by my cousin to write about my birth experiences. My oldest just graduated college and youngest is starting high school so I haven't really thought about their births in a long time!
Our first was by far the longest! I was a week overdue- 5 days before Christmas and getting very anxious. Having mild contractions, we went to the hospital only to be sent home after being told that we had longer to wait. About a day later, we went back. The labor lasted for about 14 hours, My poor (and awesome) husband never left my side. I vividly remember him asking to pee after the baby was born. He was definitely the support I needed during labor. Our second was born one day past his due day about 3 hours after arriving at the hospital without much pushing (relatively speaking!). After that, I thought the third would walk out on her own! It was January and I went to the doctor for a weekly visit, being that a snowstorm had started , they sent me to the hospital. Active labor started on the way to the hospital, the snow made travel slow and to complicate matters, the main road to the hospital was closed. The detour was not enjoyable! Once at the hospital, the delivery was as smooth as could be. Our fourth came into the world on a beautiful summer day! The labor was a little longer than expected after number 2 and 3- about 8 hours. My favorite memory is nursing her while eating breakfast and the doctor came in. He chuckled and said, "Clearly not your first," as syrup may have dripped on her head.
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Kate FrancesWhen you don't know what else to do, then it's time to write. Then write a little while longer for good measure. Archives
February 2020
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