Not Nice Spice
![]() As my 30th birthday looms, I have become self-reflective—scratch that—I have become obsessive about my relationship status. Currently my life should read #itscomplicated. And it seems as though there is turmoil traipsing through my life like a shaggy dog running through the neighborhood on a rainy day. So as any overly analytical woman, coming upon a monumental life event would, I decided to binge on holiday junk food followed by over playing Beach Body DVDs. Thank you July Fourth parties and Autumn. As if disagreements with friends would be enough, I’ve also got family and spouse in the mix. While some of the issues are past baggage unloading when least expected (spouse) and others are complete differences in personalities effecting major life choices (family), it seems like the ones I cherish the most are the hardest to fix, if at all (friends). Or perhaps it’s because it’s the hardest to fix I’ve come to hold it the closest. Well, I had decided to balls up and apologize for anything I did or said that was inappropriate, hurtful, insensitive, rude, overbearing or just generally obnoxious. Then I just sat a waited… And then waited some more. But it seems as though, even in cases where the offense wasn’t mine (omg, I swear on my life there are even things I wouldn’t do!) that some things were just swept under the rug. Not normally the trend with my family, but when things haven’t been dealt with in so long someone tends to forget and the other decides to just move along for the greater good. The friend issues are on the line for now. Let’s call that a To Be Continued—hopefully. All the while, dare I say that I am JEALOUS of the Real Housewives?!?! On these titillating shows, with the most horrendous drama, there always is a decent level of resolve. Thank the heavens, sweet nectar from above, Stud and I are on a mission to not let this be what we pass on to our child(ren!). We are proudly talking it out with a marriage counselor. I seriously recommend this for couples! Even if things are easy breezy, at least once or twice a year meet with someone to talk about where you were, where you are now, and where you want to be in the next 5/ten/20 years. It’s surprising how much we assume about those closest to us, instead of having blunt conversations. What struck me was that when I was opening up my Bible to read what one always thinks they’ll read--You are beautiful, you are loved, you have great things awaiting you, and yada yada—I actually read a piercing reality: Even jackals offer their breasts to nurse their young, but my people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert. (Lam. 4:3) Awwwwwkward. How timely, God. Let me pat you on the back. Of course this is the verse He used to give me a nice slap across the face. Seeing how I had just finished nursing my own daughter not but an hour prior, I quickly had to admit that in most cases I was really just putting out the Sorry, but there really wasn’t anything I was sorry about. I wanted to say that I had put myself out there, made the effort, was the bigger person; so let’s just cut the crap. Truth is I should have stepped up sooner! Truth is I should have been direct. Truth is I should have said sorry without any follow up (no buts allowed, folks). Stellaaaaaaaaa! I have a little backtracking to do before I can call it a day. But this was a timely wakeup call, even at a late hour.
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Kate FrancesWhen you don't know what else to do, then it's time to write. Then write a little while longer for good measure. Archives
February 2020
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