Not Nice Spice
It’s easy to blame kids and chaos as to why things slip my mind. But the reality is that most people don’t retain what doesn’t pertain to themselves. So when I heard a man ask to prepay one dollar at the pump, I brushed it out of my mind and chalked it up to pregnancy-brain-hearing loss thing. Back-peddling to earlier this week, I’ve been reading in the book of James about slowing down to listen. I automatically thought I needed to slow down and really hear what my children or husband need. I didn’t think beyond my little stay at home mommy circle. In fact I was all hyped up on how amazing God is, and how I had just picked up a fab sewing machine for FREE!
I took the time to stop and fill up on gas before heading home. In an attempt to “apply” what I have been reading I refrained from performing a sailor’s monologue at the pump when my freaking bank card wouldn’t process the transaction because I never use it for this type of purchase and they seem to have a bazillion security features. So secure I can’t even use it! The clerk came out checked and reset the machine and after standing there for ages she had me process everything inside. I switched cards because it still wouldn’t process and finally was on my way. I didn’t even notice him as we brushed past each other. Then I thought I heard the clerk repeat one dollarand thought how delusional pregnancy can make a woman. The man pumping behind my car was older, tired, had scruffy facial hair and his tan shown through the thinning hair on top. It was finally cooling down and I spotted his wiped out toddler in the back of his van. Just as fast as he had started pumping he hopped in the van and was on his way. I had barely pumped much gas at all. I pre-paid thirty dollars. I was busy people watching and thinking about how I was going to take over my husband home office with all of my new projects. Trying not to be obnoxiously nosey I started to pull away, but I just had to check, Did he really just pump one dollar? So I reversed my car and there it was. A dollar. It isn’t even enough to hit one gallon. I was shocked and disappointed in myself. I wasn’t able to listen to the world around me. I missed a chance to reach beyond my little circle. I had other options. I didn’t have a limit. I was able to fill up until I was full. I know not everyone has that luxury and Stud and I used to be there. We were blessed to have people around us that did listen, and walked out of their way to swipe us a subway ride. It was nothing for them, but everything to us. It was a break, a chance to breath, a moment to know that I am seen. Even five years later we still talk about how incredible that was. No matter how small the act, listening is always the start—seemingly insignificant but certainly immeasurable.
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Kate FrancesWhen you don't know what else to do, then it's time to write. Then write a little while longer for good measure. Archives
February 2020
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