Not Nice Spice
They say that every baby is different. It seems like more vague and slightly meaningless (unsolicited) advice. And in some ways it is. But, truly, at the heart of it, it’s a profound statement. Each baby is not just different, as in eye color or disposition, but in how they affect our perspectives on life and change us in ways we didn’t even know needed changing.
There’s a lot I want to say about this third pregnancy, but I’m just not ready to divulge. In essence, every relationship that I thought was an absolute in my life was in fact the opposite. It’s difficult to grasp. It was a long year. This pregnancy has been unconventionally long. And seemingly no relationship was exempt. Our human rationale wants to explain and justify events and relationships. Right now, Chickadee is in the infamous, “But why?” phase and it’s allowed me to come to terms with the importance of letting go. There are infinite questions of the unknown we ask ourselves and all it does is create a pressure cooker without a release. This pregnancy has been many things. At 42 weeks, it has brought me to a place of recognizing that not only do I have to surrender my control over things I cannot control, but trust deeplyin the One who is in control. He is capable. He has a better plan than I could ever conjure up. More importantly, He knows how His plan will perfectly weave into each detailed aspect of my life. By trusting Him with the uncontrollable I free myself—from anxiety, worry, unrealistic expectations, sleepless nights of cross checking, planning plan A, or B, or C. Traditionally, today I would be at the doctors today preparing for some type of induction because my pregnancy wasn’t on time. Yes, I had tests and checks and was sent along with many well wishes and my healthy babe still cozy. I am blessed to labor and deliver at home. I am shocked that Stud sarcastically volunteered the notion! I am honored that I can do this when the time is exactly right. This year I’ve become great friends with an unhurried life. It’s not a resolution that I’ve set, but the notion forced me to take notice.
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Kate FrancesWhen you don't know what else to do, then it's time to write. Then write a little while longer for good measure. Archives
February 2020
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