Not Nice Spice
I’m up late tying up loose ends and I cannot help but smirk. We doubled double. The deposits in our account this month are more than quadruple my husband’s salary our first year of marriage. This year we will hit seven years. It’s quite the milestone marker. For us, that is. Seven is nothing by any measure, but we’ve been through a few things. Most, no one will ever know—well, maybe our therapist and God. When we met, my husband called me his little Babushka. I could tell you the price of nearly every item in Trader Joe’s. I kept receipts so I could budget to the penny. The first year we always had the same four bags of groceries. Two in each hand. I walked everywhere. If it worked out just right I grabbed the bus. If the stars really aligned I hopped on the subway. Things were different and mostly difficult. No, not merely finances. There’s plenty for newlyweds to manage with our euphoric, utterly naïve expectations. There’s no formula. Stud and I certainly took different paths, but ended up in the exact same spot; walking in the dark of the night under the seven train. Pausing conversation every few minutes as the train roared above. And seven years later, resting in the dark of the night, by a field watching stars appear; tossed in the sky. Now I find that I ask myself daily, how are we here? We said yes. Not the I do. The I WILL. Every day we ask, “God, what now?” And then we say yes. Every night we ask, “God, what’s next?” And then we say I will. If you’ve never met me, you’d still probably realize I’m not a follow-the-crowd type of person. There’s a whole lot going on in the space between the question mark and the yes. There’s most likely a perplexing look and a long why when asked to do something. But, do you know what’s exciting about God—there’s no need to worry about the why. Do you know him? Have you breathed him in? Do you grasp the depth of limitless love? For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 Look at the birds of the air…yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Matthew 6:26 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think… Ephesians 3:20 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. John 14:13-14 Do not fear is written 365 times. And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; … though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me. Psalm 23:1-4 Doubling, it’s not about the money. Rather, God whispers to your soul, Can I trust you with this part of me? People need to see this part of my heart. And would we not also feel so privileged to have a friend cherish and honor things we’ve entrusted to them? Our time, our money, our passions etched so deep in our hearts. All of this. So all consuming. When He is simply consumed, billowing with an abundance of love for us. Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine ... I in my Savior am happy and blessed Watching and waiting, looking above Filled with His goodness, lost in His love Related:
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Kate FrancesWhen you don't know what else to do, then it's time to write. Then write a little while longer for good measure. Archives
February 2020
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